Wednesday, 27 February 2008

The dance of dis-ease

I have just returned from a trip to Ireland to see my relatives. We didn't get there in time before my Uncle John died and we also missed his funeral as it was two days later (they bury them quick in Ireland).

My uncle John died of liver cancer. I have been wondering why did he manifest this? As a therapist I am more than aware of the mind-body connection and have seen conditions reverse in clients so know its value and merit. John never drank, never smoked, I don't ever remember hearing him curse or say a bad word about anyone, he was a quietly spoken, kind man with twinkling eyes and a dry sense of humour. He was very caring, adored his family and work (he was the town's undertaker and also ran a garage). Him and his wife have diligently tended to my father's grave for us (he is buried at the graveyard in Ireland where many of my family are and now sadly John has joined them).

Whilst in Ireland I heard about something that happened in his childhood and wondered whether that was a contibuting factor, but he seemed to have gotten over that and was able to speak about it without too much trauma. So that didn't seem to fit for me. Was it the Gilbert's Syndrome that runs through that side of the family (his sister, my aunty Vonnie also died of liver cancer when she was 49)? Although that is not supposed to be a life threatening disease. Then one of my relatives told me that John had made a pact with God a few years ago, to take the cancer away from his daughter who had it (she had breast cancer) and that he would gladly take it on so that she could be free to look after her young children and have a good life. He gave thanks for his life and said that he had had his children and watched them grow and now it was her turn. Is this what happened?

All of my training and theories seemed to have gone out the window and I was left wondering whether we can really say the mind-body theory works.

I also saw clearly how far I have managed to come in my lifetime in overcoming some of the cultural downsides to being Irish. As well as the genetic poverty consciousness there is a mawkish need to continually talk about what is wrong. One of my aunts always talks about terrible things that have happened or are happening, I don’t think she even realises it. As we were driving down a road, she would point out things such as “that’s where so and so was killed in a car crash”, or “the man that lives in that house lost his son…..” etc etc. They do tend to indulge in the awfulness of everything and that is quite a heavy energy. The awfulness of things is what unites them. But as a therapist I know that they are attracting more awfulness because that is all they concentrate on. This Aunt is borderline leukaemia and not well at all, her daughter-in-law who is in her 20s and has a 3 year old son has been battling with leukaemia for the past four years – has she taken on her daughter-in-law's illness? Is their love for their family so great that they are taking on their illnesses? Is this part of their Soul contract?

Since coming home and reflecting on all of the above, I still believe in the mind-body connection as I have reversed health conditions in myself for the better (according to one Harley Street medical practitioner I should have been in a wheelchair by now) so I know it works.

There is so much depth to this subject, so much of it is to do with the free will of the individual. Another elderly relative passed on some great advice, he said "don't keep asking yourself why. You won't get the answers you seek. You will destroy yourself if you keep asking why." When I think of some of the major traumatic events in my life and the lives of those I love, this is good advice.

For now I am choosing to believe that the mind-body connection is relevant, that through our thoughts we can choose to create wellness or illness within our physical beings.

I would love to know your views on this subject (especially if you are a healthcare professional, healer or therapist).


1 comment:

Marie said...

Hi Elly,
My deepest apologies for the passing over of your uncle and that you were not there to be with him in time.
As a therapist I haven't always got the answers...even to my own health issues. However something struck a chord with me about your uncle and his daughter regarding the pact with God.
My very dear late husband passed over several years ago of lung cancer and more formerly liver.
One night he had a dreadful night, I didn't know what to do for him. I hugged him in bed and prayed all night that if I could take some of his pain and discomfort from him then I would do.This became an incessant prayer all night long.
Next day, he got up and was so much brighter and no pain...he enjoyed sitting in the garden and the sunshine, the birds..all the little joys in life.
He said he had the strangest dream last night and he dreamed he was me!
He was talking like me, acting like me.
I said it wasn't strange and told him about my prayer.
Well, none of this is really any answer to your own personal quest Elly but as they say God certainly works in mysterious ways and the answer may come in time...which is not always our time.
God bless and keep you safe,
With Love to you and your family,
Marie xxx
Marie Holliday EFT-ADV, MAAMET